They’re afraid of mascots, spiders, putting their head in the water, going to daycare, saying hello to visitors, sleeping alone in their bed ... In short, there are plenty of fears and this is perfectly normal!
All children have fears, stressful times, anxiety-inducing experiences, and most of the time the fear goes away on its own (and with a little help from parents!).
I’m Jessica Rousseau a.k.a Maman Éducatrucs, TES and Family Coach and I’ll show you some great approaches to use (until the anxiety goes away!).
4 Parental Attitudes
1. Don't make a big deal out of it.
Do you remember when your little one fell down on the floor and the next few seconds were decisive (because your youngster was watching your reaction!)? If you showed him your "Ouch!" face, your youngster started to cry and if you made your “Oops” face, he stood up, rubbing his knees a little.
The more we react, the more they react too! In other words, manage your reaction (and your own anxiety!).
If they hear you saying, "oh my god", "oh no" and you constantly overprotect them for fear that something will happen to them with the slightest step… relax a bit. If you feel guilty and worry to death about leaving them at daycare, you’re coming up with thirty-four recommendations to the educators and asking eighteen questions ... your little one is watching you. Stay calm and keep your worries to yourself. Yes - they’ll survive!
2. Don't take too much pity on them.
Also, don't try to do too much to console them as if it what happened was the worst thing ever. Remember, your reaction sends them signals - so make sure you don't sound too sorry, "poor little sweetheart who's not gonna make it." Kindness, but trust!
3. Don't pretend it's nothing.
Okay, there you go, they still need to be reassured. Fear is not a whim. It deserves to be recognized without being trivialized. We have to listen and cuddle in just the right amount.
4. Don’t run away.
Finally, don’t try to avoid all situations at all costs that expose them to their fear since they must tame it in order to better overcome it. In other words, take it easy, but just do it! Let’s visit my uncle who has a dog even if they’re afraid of the dog, invite him to visit even if they’re embarrassed ... We’ll make some adaptations to gently accommodate them.
Positive Strategies
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Reduce sources of stress: an anxious time already requires great adaptive skills, so let's not drain the battery along with other sources of stress. One thing at a time!
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Welcome their emotions: children have the right to experience their emotions. Call it fear, explain it, and give it a place (but not the entire place!).
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