Catherine has 2 children aged 5 and 7 and making them respect the rules is a challenge! She always feels like she is repeating them and often has to come up with threats to get the children to act.
The Red Hammer Example
If you’re asked to do the following thing right now: "Don’t think of a red hammer” - what do you see in your head? Chances are, it’s a red hammer! The analogy is the same with children. When we say "Don't run" or "Don't shout," the brain is made so that it will remember the action word, which is shout or run. Consequently, the behavior may continue! So, it's always better to say what our expectations are rather than the behavior we want to stop. Examples:
| Negative Phrase | Positive phrase that illustrates our expectations |
|---|---|
| Don’t run | Walk and stay next to me |
| Don't shout | Speak softly |
| Don't touch | Look with your eyes, put your hands behind your back |
Objective: Nourishing Self-Esteem
When we reprimand our child (for example: You always get dirty when you eat), it can make the child feel ashamed, which is bad for their self-esteem. Conversely, using positive phrases is good for their self-confidence!
| Phrases to avoid | Phrases beneficial for self-esteem |
|---|
Leave a comment